Don't laugh! It's true! I went for my first meeting for The Big Brain Study last Friday and the psychiatrist DID NOT laugh me out of the building or offer me a comfy bed, so I can only assume that I am, indeed, a Healthy Control and not depressed. Or schizophrenic, or manic, or bipolar, or paranoid, or any one of a number of mental illnesses, based on the questions she asked me.
It was kind of fun, although I did feel a kind of pressure to be uber-normal. I know that shrinks can pick up on body language and things like that, so I kept wondering if I was shifting in my chair too much or if my crossed arms made me seem close off. But, apparently, I passed because I got a call today and I'm scheduled for my first MRI at the end of August. So exciting!
The shrink, whose name is Lisa, asked a series of questions that really have gotten me thinking. Looking over the course of your whole life, what would you say was the very best time of your life? And, consequently, looking over the course of your whole life, what would you say was the very worst time of your life?
I couldn't answer those questions specifically.
I pretty much said, "I can't pinpoint the 'worst' time in my life because it's all been pretty good."
It's not that I don't have times in my history that have been "bad" or "good" or even "the best. I have had all of those things, without a doubt. For a year in high school, I was in an abusive relationship. My parents divorced when I was a senior. Troy and I, as wonderful as our relationship has been, have been through rough spots. That's marriage!
As I've ruminated about it, I think I couldn't answer because I don't tend to dwell on the bad things that have happened, so they tend to fade into the background. And, honestly, how can I look at the years that Troy and I spent dating, which were full of coffee with friends and times spent pet shop hopping and fun and compare those years with the years after our children were born or what we're experiencing right now with kids who are a little older? I would say that all of these have been great times in my life, but it's like comparing apples and oranges.
Anyway, nothing I said or didn't say raised any red flags, so that's good!