Monday, March 17, 2008


I've been reading a debate on spanking at a debate forum that I frequent. One of the moms, who is a self-proclaimed "crunchy mom" (or, technically, a "Bre@stfeed, Cloth Diaper, Gentle Discipline, No CIO, No Vax, Sling Wearing, Crunchy Mommy"...I have no idea why that is underlined like it's a link, but it's not!) Anyway, she is, of course, supremely anti-spanking (I guess that's why she's for "gentle discipline") and has listed out the 5 Rules that she follows for discipline in her house, which are as follows:

1. State your request ("Please put away your blocks.")

2. Restate your request and give a reason ("You need to put away your blocks so we can leave for the store.")

3. Offer to help him obey ("Do you need help picking up your blocks?")

4. Help him obey ("You're having troubling listening to Mama. Here, let's pick up your blocks together.")

5. Help him calm down if he throws a fit.

I'm sorry, but that makes me want to throw up a little bit!! What exactly does that teach a child, except that mommy will beg him to do what he is expected to do and then, if he doesn't really want to do it, she'll help him along? And, how is this going to translate into the "real" world of elementary school and, at a later date, college and employment? Are these children going to grow up expecting their bosses to beg them to do their job and then say, "Well, you seem to be having trouble listening to Mr. Farkle. Let me help you get that financial report done!" Then, of course, if they want to throw a fit about it, Mr. Farkle will pander to them and maybe bring them a soda to help them calm down.

UGH! I'm sorry, but I expect my children to do what I tell them to, when I tell them to do it, and they know that there will be unpleasant consequences if they don't comply. That's what comes with the authority of being a parent. (Note: they don't always do what I tell them to do exactly when I tell them to do it. THAT'S what comes with testing the limits as a kid!!

OK. I'm done ranting now.

Back to our regularly scheduled normalcy.

Hey, at our house, discipline is really harsh. If you don't obey, you're made to lie down in front of an oncoming train!!


Natalie said...

That woman's future son or daughter-in-law is going to HATE her! Can you imagine being married to a person that grew up thinking that's the way the world works?

I'm very thankful that my parents, and my in-laws, believed in discipline.

Sherri said...

Thankyou! I'm afraid that I would get into trouble on that forum. That way of thinking is exactly why kids are the way they are today. I can't STAND to be around a child who thinks that the world revolves around him/her. Whatever happened to just doing what your parent tells you to do...because they said to??? I don't care what this lady says...she is miserable and no one wants to be around her child. Sorry, but the truth hurts!! Like I said, I would get into trouble on that forum!!!

Alison said...

Hey I am married to one who was raised that way...what a nightmare the first 3 years of our marriage was let me tell you! 7 years into it and we're finally over the horrid things he "gained" from being raised that way! Care to guess if we raise the 4 kids we have that way??LOL