Monday, January 21, 2008

To Serve and Protect...Or, Y'Know....Not.

OK, I'm angry.

At The Major Health Food Store where I work, they hire off duty police officers for store security in the evenings. We're open until 10:00 and are usually leaving around 10:30 and the lot is usually pretty empty when we're heading to our cars. Also, we have to park about a bajillion miles away from the front of the store because we want The Customers to have the good spots. Part of the officer's job, in addition to spotting shoplifters or keeping the peace if someone gets too hopped up on hemp milk, is to accompany employees to their cars. You know, the company would hate it if someone were to get mugged in the parking lot. It's bad for business and would probably make their insurance premiums go through the roof.

So, the other night The Store got a whole new computer system for the registers, which means, long story short, that I didn't end up leaving the store until 12:20.

I was the last cashier to leave. The store was empty, save for the managers who wouldn't be leaving for a few hours yet, and the police officer. I looked out into the parking lot, realized that it was empty, and decided (yes, yes, foolishly) to just head to my car by myself. It was only a five mile trek, I'd be fine.

As the door shut behind me, I realized that there was indeed a person walking across the lot waaaay out by where my car was parked.

So, being the wise person I am, I knocked on the glass door and said to the officer, (you know, the guy who is paid $40 an hour to walk us to our cars? And yet, he didn't offer? In the middle of the night?) "Hey, I hate to be a complete ninny, but could you walk me to my car? There's someone out there in the parking lot."

So we hopped into his police car and he took me out to my car.

End of story, right? All was well, I wasn't mugged, he earned his $40 an hour.


Tonight, as we're closing up shop, he's up there chatting with all of us and HE ACTUALLY BEGINS TO (pretty much) MAKE FUN OF ME FOR ASKING HIM TO TAKE ME TO MY CAR!!! Truly acting as though it was silly of me to make that request. I mean, he was doing that kind of "I'm making a joke and kidding around and teasing but there's a wee bit of truth behind what I'm saying" kind of thing, but he did tell me that my own brother-in-law, who is a sergeant on the police force, would have told me to "suck it up".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? I should be in even one iota of danger, simply because it's not really convenient to trek all the way across the lot and back?

I want to spit nails!! Or bullets.


Flea said...

I, for one, am glad you weren't mugged. Granted, it would have made for a much better story.

Does this guy feel like he knows you well enough because of your BIL? Next time you leave late, walk up to him, bat your lashes and be as coy as possible while asking. Play up the helpless dumb chick thing. What a maroon.

Chuck said...

At one of my first jobs working as a dishwasher when I was 18, the waitresses often asked me to walk them out to their cars (the restaurant was located near a seedy bar.) I always felt honored to be asked. I don't know what that security guard's problem was...usually, those jobs are so boring, you look forward to something that breaks up the monotony of just standing around.

Natalei said...

I think you should apologize for wasting precious time that he could have spent at the donut shop! :)

Jessica said...

A great big ha-rumph for you! I can't believe his nerve. What?

Protect and serve people, protect and serve!

Jonny's Mommy said...

hello, just bumped into your blog from flea's who I bumped into from The Burgh Mom who I bumped into from...well, anyhow....I think that guy was a jerk for making funny of you and you know what, I would have asked to. You can't be too careful. You hear the scary stories all the time on the news. I'm glad you asked. Dumb cop anyhow. :-)