Sunday, January 06, 2008

Everyone Has Their Own Special Brand of Crazy!

And these special-brand-of-crazy people always seem to be drawn to me!

Maybe I'm being insensitive.
Maybe, someday, I'll have my own special brand of crazy. I could be like the Ziploc Bag Lady that I always see in the Neighborhood Market - the one who walks around with a black wheeled suitcase covered in a big plastic bag and who is always holding a torn-open baggie over her mough and nose.

Or maybe I'll be Crazy Cat Lady and have 18 cats living in my house and I'll feed them the steak while I eat the catfood. And all my cats will be named Snookums.

Or maybe I'll begin collecting gnome statues until I have a veritable army of them stationed in my front yard. And I'll go out there dressed like a general and give them military orders.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'll become so paraniod that I'll take my groceries up to the cashier in the store and have her key in the barcodes - you know, the approximately 9 DIGIT barcode number? - so the food items don't have to be scanned on the register and get hit by The Rays. And I won't pay attention when people who try to explain to me that that same food has been scanned no less than 3 times already: once when it left the ware house, once when it got to our store and once when it was put on the shelf.
THAT will be my own special brand of crazy.
Except that, oh phooey, THAT brand of crazy has already been claimed by the last customer that came through my line tonight!
I guess it'll have to be Crazy Cat Lady!

3 comments:

Flea said...

Oh, I don't think Troy would like it if you became crazy cat lady. Maybe you should pick something else. The gnome one is kinda cool. Or the wind catching yard figures, like those giant pinwheels.

Natalie said...

WOW...that would make a great episode of PUNKED! Are you sure you weren't on candid camera?

Sherri said...

You crazy girl!!!