Thursday, May 17, 2007

Maaaan, I wanna be Oprah's neighbor!!

I'm sitting here, watching Oprah make over her neighbor's balconies for spring. Bringing in some hot-shot plant guy from Australia, of course.* It can't just be the old guy from Lowe's** who works for minimum wage, can it? It's the best of the best! Now, why can't someone come and offer to make over MY balcony? Oh wait, that's right, I don't have one. But I do have a backyard that could stand some sprucing. Well, maybe a backhoe and a rototiller is more like it. But, alas, nobody ever just shows up at my door and says they want to make over my anything! Maybe I need to move to Chicago...

You know what, though? If someone did come and offer to make over my backyard, they'd have to put in fake plants because enything else would simply curl up and die in my presence, so brown is my thumb. (I assume that a "brown thumb" is the opposite of a "green thumb") You think I'm kidding? I've killed an IVY!! That's brutal, friends!

*Jamie Durrey...she just said his name. He sure has a cute accent!

** Hey, they did get Lowe's to donate the plants and stuff! Whaddaya know?

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