Monday, March 19, 2007

Bathing Suits

I hate shopping for bathing suits. Not, mind you, because I have any delusions that I'm a size 2 and I just can't understand why that string bikini doesn't look right on me. It's because I hate the fact that women keep bowing to the whims of what the "fashion world" puts out in front of us and tells us looks good.
Take halter tops, for example. PLEEEEASE take halter tops! Faaaar away! Because I've YET to see a woman with a womanly figure and womanly-sized bosoms look good in a halter top. You simply cannot take the weight of two C to D cup bosoms and divide it between one strap around the neck, and have The Girls look happy and perky! Each Girl needs her own strap running from the top of the cup to the back of the suit/shirt/whatever! And yet, a large number of bathing suits have halter tops...and I actually found myself trying some on!!!!
"Well, maybe things have changed. Maybe this will look OK!" and off I trot to the changing room, halter top suits in hand, only to be faced with very sad looking Girls encased in spandex. NOT a pretty site. On anyone. Not unless you're a 19-year-old A cup and even then, I have my doubts. But the fashion industry keeps making halter tops and people keep buying and it's an endless cycle of sagginess.
Oh, and another thing, while I'm ranting about poor fashion choices...when did it become okay, even fashionable to show off your "muffin tops"? For those who aren't in the know, that's when your jeans are too tight and your fat bloops over the top of them. These days it's usually accompanied by a tight belly shirt to give the full effect. I'm all about being comfortable with who you are, but good grief, people. That's not attractive! BLEGH!

I did find a bathing suit, though. And it's a *gasp* TWO-PIECE suit! Now, before you go poking your eyes out at the thought of me in a bikini (gag!) I'll say that it is classified as a "skirtini". For real! That's what it rang up as on the receipt! It's a tank top and a skirt - because heaven knows that the world is NOT ready for these thighs to be revealed in public. I tell you, one fasion trend I was glad to see return were the bermuda shorts because I was scared of how short shorts were getting! I was a little worried about sending a mixed message to Reilly about having a two-piece suit because we've always told her that she can't have one, but after discussing it with Troy, we decided that it's not actually the number of pieces that the suit comes in, it's the issue of modesty. If she were to see a two-piece suit next year that was a nice, modest suit, I wouldn't have a problem with it. She's just not going to wear a bikini while she's living under my roof. (Wow, did I actually say that? I am a parent, aren't I?)

So, I'm ready for summer! Bring on the sun and the pool!

P.S. I will say that, while I strive for modesty in swimwear, I think that these go just a wee tad overboard:
Although, the first day I notice a boy checking out Reilly at the pool, I'm going and buying her one of these:


Flea said...

Ooooo. I liked the Burqini swimsuit. And YAY to the Bermudas coming back! Good for you, buying a modest two piece.

I read a Beverly Lewis book yesterday - Sanctuary - on the recommendation of a friend. She writes about the Mennonite and Amish, with modern America thrown in. The book was Christian fluff, but I laughed out loud when the writer describes an ancillary character going home, seeing his fiance' (these two are not Mennonite or Amish) and saying that she looked "exceptionally beautiful in her denim skirt and matching blouse." It took me a second, then I visualized and the book was over at that point. Looking at the bathing suits in your first link reminded me of that line. Of the entire book. Made me ask the question: Why would someone with no fashion sense write a book about rich and fashionable people?

Sorry. Now I'm ranting on your blog. :( And really hoping you're not a hard core Beverly Lewis fan.

Lisa said...

LOL! I've not read any Beverly Lewis. I'm more the Ted Dekker type - he writes a lot like James Patterson and Stephen King, but he's a Christian author so there's no sex or bad language. It's great!